Wardrobe Disconnection After Birth
Four mums weigh in on the highs and lows of rediscovering their style in early motherhood
I interviewed four girlfriends – fellow mums and fashion lovers. All from different walks of life, with vastly different careers and their own distinct style. It's clear that no matter our style confidence before having children, no one emerges unscathed and 100% fashionably confident once on the other side. It's an unwinding process, a journey of rediscovery and adapting to a new mode of life, with plenty of frustrations and a few pleasant surprises along the way.
You have to learn what fits all over again. You prioritise comfort, but also you want to feel like a woman again.
Did you experience a sense of ‘wardrobe disconnection’ post birth? How would you describe it?
Georgie
Absolutely. I had a full wardrobe but felt the classic 'nothing to wear' when I was required to leave my neighbourhood. It took a while to get the right purchases going and re-evaluate what I already had.
Alicia
Yes, definitely. I feel like my wardrobe is set up for the old me and now causes me quite a bit of anxiety as I struggle to find outfits for day-to-day and special occasions.
Max
Yes because I wore leggings and men’s shirts most of my pregnancies. Then you have your baby and nothing in your wardrobe fits anymore. You have to learn what fits all over again. You prioritise comfort but also you want to feel like a woman again. Your breast size keeps fluctuating. You’re not sure if you’ll ever lose the extra weight. It’s pretty disconcerting.
Jules
Yes, and I still do. The feelings are mixed. Looking at the wardrobe of my “old” self and loving the pieces but knowing they don’t suit me any longer but too attached to them to just throw them away. Wanting comfort and style for my present day self but unsure who that person is. Wanting to invest in more “timeless” pieces but also overwhelmed by my “old” self’s style and my brain not being able to solve a good in-between for who or what my style might be today and moving forward.
I feel like my wardrobe is set up for the old me, and now causes me quite a bit of anxiety.
How would you describe your style?
Georgie
Classic on the basics with the best quality I can afford. I love jeans, shirts, leather jackets, fun coats, and simple, unbranded belts and t-shirts. If I'm going to a wedding, I'll then go extra and get something more colourful, fun and edgy. 'Buy cheap, buy twice' is a motto I love and try to shop by. Every item in my wardrobe (where possible) needs to work very hard.
Alicia
Stylish but comfortable. I try to choose classic pieces that will not go out of style. As I’ve gotten older, I have also focused more on comfort. I love a bit of athleisure wear.
Max
I’d say French (sometimes Japanese) inspired classic or minimal, with a touch of preppy. Comfort is pretty important.
Jules
I don’t know what my style is.
Every item in my wardrobe (where possible) needs to work very hard.
What surprised you most about getting dressed postpartum?
Georgie
In a great way, that clothes looked pretty good! I was expecting it to be harder to lose weight than it was. In saying that, I was surprised at how mentally fatigued I felt trying to differ my style from the maternity leave wardrobe I'd lived by. I felt like I'd lost some intuition on what were excellent things to buy and would often return home empty-handed.
Alicia
I hadn’t really given much thought to the breastfeeding side, which sounds so silly and obvious now. I also didn’t appreciate how much breastfeeding would affect my overall shape and how I would feel in the type of clothes I used to love. I also hadn’t appreciated (again seems so obvious now!) how unsafe my clothes are around babies and their bodily fluids! When you’re working with a very minimal wardrobe, it makes it even sadder when they ruin that one good outfit you have for X, Y, Z occasion!
Max
How small my body was before and how I need to lower my expectations about getting back to where I was pre-babies. That I can also find clothes that are flattering, even though I was never prepared for such a change.
Jules
How I was prioritising comfort over fashion.
I was surprised at how mentally fatigued I felt trying to differ my style from the maternity leave wardrobe I'd lived by. I felt like I'd lost some intuition on what were excellent things to buy and would often return home empty-handed.
Do you feel your style has changed since becoming a mum and if so, in what ways?
Georgie
I think I face more confusion and occasional fatigue on how to dress. I cannot stand the sight of activewear or shirts sometimes because it was what I lived in during mat leave, but then 'emerging' post-baby can feel unfamiliar. I think i'm probably a bit lazier in my appearance and I reach for the same things and end up feeling a bit plain and boring. I find find myself longing to shop and spend but not quite sure where to start sometimes!
Alicia
Yes and no. Yes in that I now have to find clothes that I can breastfeed in. I am also a different shape, so am finding it hard to find pieces that I like and that suit my new shape. For example, I used to love an oversized t shirt with a wide leg trouser but now I’m finding if I wear oversized both top and bottom, it’s not flattering. No because I still love the same clothes I did before, but I’m just having to take a bit of a break from some of them or wear them in different ways. I can still wear the oversized t shirt but not with the wide leg trouser.
Max
It has definitely changed. I’m learning what works with my body type and what’s flattering since I’ve put on some extra kilos. I’m prioritising classic styles with premium fabrics and classic jewellery/accessories. I used to take more risks and do a little more vintage.
Jules
Yes I do, I feel like I’m trying to find pieces that are comfortable, but stylish and compliment my changing body shape but are also breastfeeding friendly. If I invest in a piece I hope that it will go the miles beyond breastfeeding.
Was there anything you used to love wearing before having a baby, that you found yourself avoiding after?
Georgie
Absolutely. Short shorts, mini dresses, generally started to hate my legs which was a new one for me. I felt both too old to be wearing a mini dress and somehow a bit 'inappropriate' too, which is silly!
Alicia
Yes, I used to love wearing a wide trouser and oversized t-shirts. This just doesn’t work for me at the moment.
Max
Anything tight on the tummy, unless it tucks things in. Heels for sure. And fabrics that are very hard to wash, such as silk or suede. I’m only starting now to wear suede again.
Jules
I love a good pair of jeans. I found myself buying the style that I loved before pregnancy in a larger size and second-hand to accommodate mum life.
What do you find most challenging about putting an outfit together?
Georgie
It has got better, but the different moving parts of a look. I've recently been loving 'sets' because it almost gives a uniform appearance whilst being a little more complex than a dress. Cool trousers or midi skirts with a matching top is a very easy, put-together and stylish look which can make me have more fun with jewellery/bags etc.
Alicia
Probably the fact that a lot of the clothes I want to wear won’t fit and the ones that do don’t look as good as I want them to look.
Max
How to be a little more creative and unique. I find my style atm very classic. I’m not taking many risks. Which I don’t really mind after all, as I’m not really wanting to stand out until I feel better in my body.
Jules
Making it look finished and effortless. I feel like if I try to “copy” a look, it looks copied or awkward. I also get stuck in the same routine of wearing the same outfit over and over because it “worked” once before. And I lose sight of other outfit possibilities in my wardrobe.
How often do you feel good in what you wear?
Georgie
I feel pretty good when I go into the office, into town, or out for dinner etc. I am bored of being at home in activewear or 'comfies' but it works for baby-entertaining, especially as they are so messy!
Alicia
Rarely at the moment! However, I think a lot of this is down to the weather. I am a winter fashion lover and have always found dressing in summer a bit of a challenge. I think if I was at this stage in my life in winter, I probably would feel a lot better in my clothes.
Max
Most days, I feel okay with my clothes. Feeling better with my body will take a little longer. Postpartum identity crisis is a thing.
Jules
I feel like I get more enjoyment out of knowing the label or materials are good quality or a bougie brand. These days, I’m not quite yet at full confidence in what I like wearing.
Most days, I feel okay with my clothes. Feeling better with my body will take a little longer. Postpartum identity crisis is a thing.
What Mum Loop item do you have on high rotation?
Georgie
Ceres 1/2 zip sweater, I need to buy more!
(Georgie pictured below wearing her Ceres Life Half Zip sweater in colourway almond)
Alicia
I recently bought a gorgeous denim shirt by Ceres, which is going to be so handy in every season!
(Ceres Life Essential Denim Shirt is featured below)
Max
It will def be the new Outland Denim jeans. Love the fit. I've got the Zoe High rise & the Elise mid-wide in black.
(Max is featured below wearing the Zoe high straight jeans in rinse and her favourite Maison Hotel blouse).
Jules
Ceres life grey pull over zip. And I love my Maison Hotel jacket!
(Jules is featured below wearing the Maison Hotel Dali Jacket, now sold out).
How do you practice self-care?
Georgie
Switching my phone onto flight mode, going for a walk without any headphones, going to bed very early with a book and my phone in the next room, lots of time in nature, cooking meals from scratch, gardening, and speaking to family.
Alicia
I love scrolling on Instagram to learn about taking care of my baby. I also love learning about ways to look after myself, from the food I eat to the latest self-care ritual. For example, I’ve long heard of the benefits of lymphatic drainage massage, and I’m hoping to have a session soon. My knowledge of a lot of the latest beauty and fashion trends comes from Instagram, so I love getting some time to scroll.
Max
I try book a bathhouse and massage every month. Book a skin treatment or hairdresser. Go on a date. Do extra activities that I’ve never done before. Have alone time (very rare). Weekend away with my girlfriends (restaurant/movie). I remind myself to be grateful for all the things I’ve achieved and all the things I’m capable of.
Jules
Walks, saunas, baths, journaling, and facials at home.
What advice would you give a new mum on maintaining their sense of self while nurturing a tiny human?
Georgie
Make the effort every day. Lay clothes out the night before (even if it's basic stuff) because the next morning may feel too hard. Get the best basics you can afford so they feel a little luxurious, even if it's a white t-shirt. Invest in some great skincare and makeup (if not already), and your mood will lift.
Alicia
Try not to have any expectations of how you’ll look and feel in those early weeks. Leggings will be your best friend, and that’s okay! Try and keep focused on what’s most important and that’s enjoying this incredibly special time with your new baby. I’m still very much in the trenches so I’ll have to let you know in a while whether this is the right advice, but this is what I try and say to myself.
Max
I don’t think there’s a special recipe. You have to go through the lows to get back onto the highs, and probably whilst meeting a range of emotions. To me, daily gratitude, self-appreciation and nurture is probably the best way to not lose yourself too deep into just being a mum. But also surround yourself with people you love, laugh, don’t be scared to ask for help and realise you’re a warrior for going through all the things your body has gone through. No one is perfect, and we are all trying our f*ing best. You’ve got this.
Jules
Be kind to yourself and wear things that bring you happiness. Getting ready during the day can be your self-care ritual! Treating yourself to a shower and putting on your fave pair of (insert favourite wardrobe item) can be a small daily moment of love for yourself.
Be kind to yourself and wear things that bring you happiness. Getting ready during the day can be your self-care ritual! Treating yourself to a shower and putting on your fave pair of (insert favourite wardrobe item) can be a small daily moment of love for yourself.
A big thank you to the following beautiful mummas
Georgie – Mum to Penelope, aged one. London-based senior HR manager.
Alicia – Mum to Lottie, three months old. London-based legal advisor and makeup artist on maternity leave.
Maxime – Mum to June, aged five, and Theo, aged two. Geelong-based graphic designer, originally from France.
Julie-Anne – Mum to Naimh, aged four, and Harriet, four months old. Wellington-based sound therapy facilitator and Production Manager, originally from Canada.
